Television Movie Script from the 1980 ABC Movie of the week from Aaron
Spelling Productions, who brought us HART TO HART, Charlie's Angels,
S.W.A.T., Starsky Hutch and The Rookies, the 1980 television film, Murder
Can Hurt You. Directed by Roger Duchowny. Written by Ron J. Friedman.
Originally Titled, MURDER CAN KILL YOU, This film was a spoof of TV crime
dramas. Someone is murdering all the great detectives and cops, and it's
up to the remaining few to find the killer and stop him. Some of the shows
that are spoofed are IRONSIDE, BARETTA, STARSKY & HUTCH, KOJAK, SGT
PEPPER ANDERSON from POLICE WOMAN, COLUMBO, MRS. COLUMBO.
The Cast of this film included: Victor Buono .... Chief Ironbottom Tony
Danza .... Pony Lambretta Jamie Farr .... Studsky John Byner .... Len
'Hatch' Hatchington Gavin MacLeod .... Lt. Nojack Buck Owens .... Sheriff
Tim MacSkye Connie Stevens .... Sgt. Salty Sanderson Jimmie Walker ....
Parks the Pusher Burt Young .... Lt. Palumbo Marty Allen .... Det. Starkos
Richard Deacon .... Mr. Burnice Gunilla Hutton .... Raquel Roz Kelly ....
Virgina Trickwood Liz Torres .... Mrs. Palumbo Don Adams .... Narrator.
This is the Shooting Script from February 27. 1980, with 110 pages.
Tony Danza received an Emmy nomination for a guest-starring role in "The
Practice" (1997) and acclaim for his performance in the Broadway
revival of "The Iceman Cometh" by Eugene O'Neill. He is best
known, however, for his lovable sitcom personae. Following a five-year run
in "Taxi" (1978), he starred in "Who's the Boss?"
(1984) for eight seasons. He also starred in the comedy series "Hudson
Street" (1995) and "The Tony Danza Show" (1997), for which
he was executive producer. His additional television credits include an
acclaimed performance opposite George C. Scott and Jack Lemmon in the
remake of the film classic 12 Angry Men (1997) (TV) and the television
movies The Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon
(1998) (TV), Noah (1998) (TV), The Girl Gets Moe (1997), North Shore Fish
(1997) (TV) and Deadly Whispers (1995) (TV). Danza's additional stage
credits include the Broadway revival of Arthur Miller's Tony Award-winning
"A View From the Bridge". His theatrical debut in "Wrong
Turn" at Lungfish earned him an Outer Critics Circle Award
nomination. Among his motion picture credits are Angels in the Outfield
(1994), She's Out of Control (1989), A Brooklyn State of Mind (1997), Glam
(2001) and Illtown (1996). He also wrote, directed and starred in the
short film Mamamia (1998) and continues to garner accolades performing in
his song-and-dance stage show, which debuted in Atlantic City in 1995. He
has since taken it on the road to major venues throughout the country,
from Las Vegas to New York. Danza earned a bachelor's degree in history
education from the University of Dubuque, which he attended on a wrestling
scholarship. Shortly after graduation, he was discovered by a producer at
a boxing gymnasium in New York, and "Taxi" (1978) rolled into
his life. Danza was born in Brooklyn, New York, and lives in Los Angeles
with his wife, Tracy, and three children.
The sporadically chucklesome Murder Can Hurt You was first telecast May
21, 1980.
Cast (in credits order)
Victor Buono .... Chief Ironbottom
Tony Danza .... Pony Lambretta
Jamie Farr .... Studsky
John Byner .... Len 'Hatch' Hatchington
Gavin MacLeod .... Lt. Nojack
Buck Owens (II) .... Sheriff Tim MacSkye
Connie Stevens .... Sgt. Salty Sanderson
Jimmie Walker (I) .... Parks the Pusher
Burt Young .... Lt. Palumbo
Marty Allen .... Det. Starkos
Richard Deacon .... Mr. Burnice
Gunilla Hutton .... Raquel
Roz Kelly .... Virgina Trickwood
Liz Torres .... Mrs. Palumbo
Don Adams (I) .... Narrator (voice)
Mason Adams .... Willie the Wino
Mitch Kreindel .... The Man in White (as Mitchell Kreindel)
Michael Delano .... Thug
Tessa Richarde .... Sophia
E. Wetta Little .... Marilyn
Mel Blanc .... Chickie Baby (voice)
Allen Case .... Kindly Doctor
W.T. Zacha .... Truck Driver
Jack Lindine .... Rookie Cop
Colin Hamilton .... Fitzhugh
Harriet Medin .... Great Lady
Carl Bensen .... Dandified Gentleman
Iris Adrian .... Candy Store Proprietor
Linda Lawrence (I) .... Girl #1
Kathy Clarke .... Girl #2
Twink Caplan .... Hooker #1
Muffi Durham .... Hooker #2
Tanya Boyd .... Stunner
I don't like to get on a soapbox about politics, but there's an issue I
feel is very important in your community, and I'd appreciate your support
if you agree.
The work of comic Marty Allen has not been taught in most cities' school
systems for years; apparently, in some backwaters, it's never been taught
at all. This is a tragedy of omission that many cities' most
politically-astute citizens have brought to a ballot measure in your
upcoming local election.
If--like me and millions of other Americans--you've enjoyed Mr. Allen's
work on such programs as "Circus of the Stars," "Love,
American Style," and "The Hollywood Squares," I hope you
will consider printing and posting a Pro-Marty sign.
And, above all, make sure you get out and vote on November 5th. It's high
time we send a message to those fat cats in city hall that we want our
kids learning Marty and nothing but Marty.
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